Control Yourself

Now this may come as a surprise to some of you reading this, but I haven't always been the charming young lady that I am today. Okay, so maybe charming isn't really the word, but if you knew me 6 or so years ago then you would know that these days I'm much more pleasant to be around. Growing up I was a bad kid. I'm not really even sure how my parents kept their sanity for the first 14 years of my life. You're probably wondering what exactly I did, so let me explain. I was extremely stubborn, had an awful temper, and basically did whatever I wanted to all the time. When I was really young, the problem was refusing to do what my parents told me to do. I've been told the story of the time when I was 3 and told my mom, "you might as well go ahead and spank me because I'm not cleaning my room," about a thousand times over the years along with countless other tales of times when I was just outright defiant. Now that may not sound like such a big deal, but the part that carried over into my teenage years is.

As I got older and smarter, this stubborn defiance came out in my attitude. My parents got divorced the summer before I started eighth grade, and for the next few years after that I was mad. I was mad at my mom for choosing to get a divorce, at my dad for never being happy when I was with him, at my older sister for running away from the problem and making me step up, at my younger sisters for needing me all the time, and at my friends for not understanding what I was going through. In case you didn't notice, that's a lot of anger and most of it wasn't fair. I got in fights with everyone all the time. My mom and I had daily yelling matches, and I argued with my best friend on a weekly basis about nothing. I remember countless nights crying myself to sleep because I was so completely miserable. I don't tell you this story so that you can say "awe poor Hannah." I tell you this because I want you to see how ridiculous my attitude was. Was this a bad situation? Yes, it was. Did I have a reason to be upset? Of course I did, but should I have let it dictate my attitude? NO!

I see statuses and tweets all the time where people say things about how the way others treat them decide what their attitude is going to be, but that thinking couldn't be further from the truth. You are the only one who controls your attitude. Let me say that again. YOU are the only one that controls YOUR attitude! Sure people upset you and make you angry, but they aren't the ones who make you stay that way. It's a choice, and you have two options: you can let other people dictate your attitude and by extension who you are, or you can choose to be joyful and positive no matter what others have to say. For me, it took my older sister telling me how stupid I was being before I took control of my attitude. Granted, I'm still a little stubborn (okay maybe a lot) and will attempt to do anything you tell me I can't, but I no longer let anyone else control the way I act, and neither should you.