Relationship advice from the Nicholsons

I'm taking a break from serious subjects to let you in on a little of my life. I spend a lot of time with children and specifically the Nicholson children. In all of the time we're together they say some pretty funny stuff, but I think this particular night tops them all. It started with Lydia giving Tabitha some advice on how to get a boyfriend and escalated from there. So here, for your pleasure, are some dating tips from Elijah (10), Lydia (8), Judah (5), and Titus (4). (Each one is denoted by the first letter of who said it. N means a group effort.)

How to Get a Boyfriend and Keep Him

1. Wear sparkly shoes-L

2. Always wink at boys-L

3. Only introduce them to your cool family-N

4. Don't poot-L

5. Don't lay in the bed till twelve-L

6. Always have honesty-EL

7. Reel them in and keep em-E

8. Always introduce yourself and wear nice clothes-J

9. Wear bright lipstick-L

10. Make sure you don't poop in your pants-T

11. Never EVER take him to mcdonalds-E

12. Don't tell him he's cute. Unless you find him attractive. But do tell him you like him.-L

13. Don't get one that flirts with waitresses. If he does order the most expensive thing, stomp on his foot, and tell him to take you home-E

14. Never gets someone that doesn't like kids-L

15. Always be sure to be nice-JL

16. Be yourself. If he doesn't like you for who you are he's not worth it.-L

17. I will just punch him-T

18. Never forget to brush your teeth-E

19. Always brush your hair and make it look very nice. And take a shower.-L

20. Never wear too much makeup or fake eyelashes-E

21. Get one that's really nice-L

22. Make sure you very don't wear dark lipstick-T

23. Always say nice things-J

24. Never ever get one that has a messy house-E

25. Never get one that wants to get an ice cream tattoo-L

26. Don't get one that has a real snake because you will be freaking out-T

27. Always be very polite-J

28. Don't wear too short skirts-L

29. On your first date, tell him you are just friends. On the second date, tell him you want to take it slow. On the third date, tell him that you want to be more than friends-L

30. When on a date, never wear a tshirt and nike shorts-J

31. No smoochin till you married-E

32. Pretend like you're a ghost-T

33. Always go out in the night time because some people have work-L

34. Never go out in the night time because you will be tempted to go to his apartment-E

35. Always take him out to a fancy place for dinner-J

36. Always tell him he looks very nice-L

37. Always when it's his birthday, give him something you think he will like-J

38. Like some really cool tools-J

39. Or a really big monster or a really small bat-T

40. Put pink rubber bands in your braces. It will show him you are a girly girl-L

41. Give him a really nice hammer-T

42. If he has blue eyes tell him the shine like a pool. If he has green eyes tell him they look like green grass. If he has brown eyes tell him they look like a lake. If he has hazel tell him they look like a rainbow.-L

43. If he looks like he's mean, don't let him be your boyfriend-J

44. If he doesn't have a car, buy him a really cool car-J

45. If you have the money-L

46. If y'all get far enough to marry, learn how to cook really nice and don't order to go and serve it like you cooked it yourself-L

47. Always be sure to buy good stuff with him-J

48. Always be sure to look before you get one-J

49. Make sure you get him a golden shirt-T

50. Always always always make sure you have enough money to buy your own dinner just in case-L

Feeling Single

I've started to write a post on singleness several times, but I always end up deciding against it halfway through. This is partly because I feel like just about everyone has talked about this in some form or another and partly because I honestly have no answers to all the questions. What I want to attempt to do in this post is simply tell you where I am and how I deal with being single in a southern, Christian society that unintentionally tells you that marriage is where every woman is most effective. 

Like most young girls, I grew up dreaming of the day that I would walk down the aisle in a white dress and say "I do" to a tall (or, for 5 ft me, average height), dark, and handsome man who I would make a family and live happily ever after with. In middle and high school, my friends and I would dream and giggle about the possibility of marrying one of the guys we knew and what it would be like with each one. From the beginning I couldn't wait for the day that someone would get down on one knee and ask me to spend the rest of my life with them. I never once stopped to consider that I would watch all my friends do those things while I'm still waiting for the cute guy in my math class to talk to me. I didn't expect to start to feel the twinge of resentment every time I get on social media and see that another person my age has gotten engaged or is celebrating their first wedding anniversary or having their first baby. I didn't imagine coming up on my 21st birthday and not having even gone on a date in 2 years. None of those things were what I had planned out for my life. 

There are days where I seriously struggle with being single. Days where I feel lonely and insecure and decide that I need a man to fill those holes in me, but those are the days that I have to turn to the only One who can fill any emptiness inside of me. There are also days where I rejoice in my singleness and thank Him that I don't have the stress and weight of a family, but neither of those days are the normal for me or the best way for me to think. My regular life doesn't focus on my relationship status because God is using me in ways that are independent of it. 

Of course He does use me in ways that He couldn't if I was married, but most things wouldn't change even if I was. I hear many singles in the church complaining about not having opportunities or feeling left out, but I don't ever feel that way. I'm the director and overseer (for lack of a better description) of the children's ministry in our church, and I have great relationships with women in my church and community-married or not. I can carry on a conversation with a stay-at-home mother of four just as easily as I can with a fellow single college student. My life, relationships, and usefulness aren't hinged upon a ring on my left hand and a man by my side. 

Now hear me out, I want those things very much and am still sometimes impatient with the Lord's timing, but he can use me right here, right now. There's a phrase that I was told a long time ago and don't even remember who said it, but I've clung to it through this season of life. God works all things for my good and for His glory. 

When you weigh singleness against that, it seems to put everything into perspective. It makes it way less of an issue for me. I feel like I'm getting pressured to stay single while also getting pressured to get married, and the weight of those two things can often be suffocating, but I'm reminded that God's work isn't limited by anything. He doesn't look at me and say, "oh, I could use her so much more if she'd just find a husband!" He has my life perfectly mapped out, and the reason I'm single is because this is exactly where he wants me. The reason so many of my friends are getting married is because that's exactly where he wants them. We have to come to a point in our lives where we trust that He's truly working all things for our good and His glory, and when we do, we'll experience a much fuller life-married or not. 

Christmas in Africa

I celebrated my Christmas a little differently this year. I didn't wake up in my bed on Christmas morning and then have a special breakfast with my family. I didn't sit by the tree with a cup of hot chocolate waiting to open presents with my sisters. I actually didn't open a single present on Christmas Day. I didn't get to see or hug a single member of my family. By basically all worldly definitions, I had what most would call a depressing and horrible Christmas, but I don't see it that way. Actually, to be honest, it was the most incredible holiday I have ever had the privilege of being a part of. I spent my Christmas thousands of miles from home in a little place called Africa. 

When I woke up on December 25, it didn't feel like Christmas at all. It was a frigid 100 degrees outside, and I was still fairly sunburnt from a few days before. I got up and got dressed to go to church for a special Christmas service. I sat outside under a tent in a plastic chair in the sweltering heat with some of the most joyful people I've ever met. We sang, danced (yes you read that right, I said danced), and listened to the story of Jesus' birth first in English then in Lugandan. After many hugs and handshakes, we left to go deliver gifts. 

This next section of words will not do justice to what happened at this point, but I'll do my best. First we delivered candy bags to the boys home. They were so precious and started devouring their "sweeties" the second we handed them to them. Next we went to the babies home to give them their much less full bags of candy. They were supposed to be napping so that was a bit of an adventure, and I'm sure the aunties loved us when the couldn't get them to sleep. The next house is where our hearts were really touched though. 

We arrived at the Merimbe Cottage for street girls with five huge boxes filled with an entire tote bag overflowing with gifts for each girl. They were all so excited they could barely sit still as we began handing out the bags. Here is just a glimpse of what it looked like. 

The girls unwrapped their gifts with many shouts and yells of excitement. One even said, "auntie you must hold me up. I will faint!" They were so excited that they would put everything back in their bags to only dump it right back out to look at them again. After they were done, they all came up to us with huge hugs and smiles and many many thank you's. I almost lost my composure when a few of them said "thank you, Hannah. Thank you!" It was truly a sweet time. 

After the girls home we got to deliver gifts to the children's home. They were just as anxious and excited. We very much enjoyed their sweet faces as they opened probably their first ever Christmas gift. 

 

It was truly the best Christmas I've ever gotten to be a part of, and I didn't receive a single gift. The look on these sweet kids faces makes up for not getting to spend it with my family. I hope after you read this you aren't thinking "oh Hannah is such a good and sacrificial person", I hope you see how good our God is, and how precious these children he has created are.